Something In The Air
by Violent Red
Summary: Humble Me. Rebuke Me. Correct Me. Chastise Me. I Am Blind. I Can't See. Love Me This Way. Perfect Love. Perfect Display. Take Up My Heart. Feel This Release. Rent All My Clothes. Repent On My Knees. Dillon and Lulu Story


There's something in the air. That's what my father had said before leaving town this last time around. I should've listened to him. I should've heeded his warnings to be careful. But I followed through on my plan with Diego regardless of what logical sense had been screaming at me. I had lied and helped Dillon cheat on his wife. I thought I had paid my dues when I had lost the only true friend I had ever had. Apparently, fate or cosmic order had another plan. I found out I was pregnant on the day of my eighteenth birthday. The greatest gift, but also the greatest curse all at once. I can't seem to find the words to tell Dillon, or anyone else for that matter. I'm dying to tell Carly, to gain some kind of perspective. Sonny had comforted me in her place. I told him, after much cajoling on his part. That's when Dillon showed up. I was prepared to tell him, fake confidence and all, when he announced that he was back together with Georgie. So now, I stand here, my lungs struggling to pull air into my lungs, staring at him with nothing to say. I can see the urgency in his eyes. I should tell him, regardless of whether he's with Georgie or not. All I really want to do is to tell him to go to hell and then go hide in my room under the blankets. He laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair. My voice is weak, even to my own ears. "Congratulations,"

"What did you want to tell me?" Dillon asks, fidgeting around anxiously. Georgie is probably waiting for him, I remind myself. The thought makes my stomach churn. Although it could be morning sickness, I decide to blame it on Georgie. It's just easier to explain it that way. He deserves to know. I realize that. Hell, I respect that even. Okay, I've boxed myself into a corner. There's no other solution other than to tell him. Lies are what took my best friend away. I won't have my child's life plagued by lies and manipulations.

"Enjoy your freedom while it lasts," I warn him, facing the problem with a cold façade. I curse myself silently. That was probably the worst way of telling him that he had gotten me pregnant. He was obviously confused. But who could blame him? I sigh, preparing my huge explanation. I refuse, no matter how horrible his reaction, to apologize. "You have about eight months to run around with your girlfriend doing whatever it is that you want to do because when that time is up you'll be a father,"

"I'll be a what?" Dillon stumbles forward towards the bench, grasping his chest like his Grandfather does to feign chest pain. I follow him over, sitting down next to him and watching in concern. He coughs a few times, his eyes watering as he leans forward towards the ground. I just sit silently, letting him process in his own time. "Did you say that I'll be a father in eight months?"

"Yeah, I did. And if you don't want to give up your freedom or throw any new wrinkles into your relationship with Georgie then that's fine. You go your way and I'll go mine," I assure him quickly. The last thing I need or want is for him to feel trapped in some cheesy relationship because he knocked me up. He sits back, letting his head fall back while his eyes close. He exhales loudly, exasperated even. My defenses rise on their own accord. "It's not like I crawled on top of myself and got pregnant. You were there too if you remember correctly,"

"Oh don't even start," Dillon warns, his eyes still shut tightly. I can feel my anger building. Maybe it's just pregnancy hormones. Yes, I decide, I'll blame the hormones. Every other freaking pregnant woman on the planet does, don't they? I get to my feet, kicking him in the shin with the pointed toe of my high-heeled shoes. He opens his eyes, wincing in pain as he leans forward to rub the injury. He glances up at me, suddenly sensing the impending doom.

"Do you think that I want to be pregnant? I'm eighteen, Dillon. And don't you dare give me some bullshit about this being my fault because I lied. You hate me; I get that so move on. I could deal with this if only I was involved, but it's not just me anymore. You got me pregnant! You had just as much of a part in this as I did!" I sink down onto the ground, sitting on my knees helplessly. Dillon can only stare at me, probably too shocked from my outburst and confession to do much else. I regain my composure, but don't bother to move. What's the point? A wave of sadness hits me and tears begin to drip down my face and onto my lap. I look up, but realize that I can't hold eye contact. I have one more admission before I'm completely free of secrets. "I haven't even decided if I'm going to keep the baby. You might not have to worry yet,"

"I have a say in whether you abort my child or put it up for adoption," Dillon reminds me, his tone slightly harsh. He gets to his feet before pulling me to mine by my arm. I scowl at him, tugging my arm out of his grip. I'm angry that he even thought me heartless enough to murder my unborn baby. The thought hadn't crossed my mind once and I had vetoed it the second the words had left Dr. Lee's mouth as a suggestion. I'm eighteen, pregnant, and with no one to really help me. I fight the urge to sink back down onto my knees and just wallow in my own misery. "If you really don't want this baby then I'll raise it,"

"With Georgie? Yeah, right, over my dead body," I inform him coldly, a hand going to my stomach. There's no way that blonde vixen will get her hands on my baby. I will find a way to fight Dillon for custody if it means keeping Georgie at a reasonably safe distance. I'm sure Carly, and even Sonny, will help me protect my child. That's right up their alley. "She will come nowhere near my baby, do you understand me? I will do absolutely anything that I have to do to keep that woman away from my son or daughter,"

"You act as if she has the plague," Dillon mutters, kicking at a pebble with the toe of his converse sneakers. He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, shuffling his feet. He obviously doesn't want to piss me off anymore than he already has, which is probably a wise decision given my current mood swings.

"She is the plague," I correct him politely. He gives me an annoyed look. He obviously expects something more mature from the mother of his first, not to mention illegitimate, kid. I remember when I had first found out that I was pregnant. I had been holding Spencer when I had looked up to see him lurking in the doorway of Kelly's. "What crossed your mind when you saw me holding my nephew at my party?"

"What?" Dillon asks, caught off guard by the question. I don't know why it matters, but for some reason it does. I remember every word he said about not having expectations and how he wished that I hadn't ruined things between us. I tried to remember if I saw something in his eyes but the rest was all a blur. Realization lights his eyes. "You're good with him,"

"Good with him," I echo softly, remembering all the thoughts that had run through my head while I had been holding Spencer. I let myself sink onto the bench, pulling my knees up to my chest. I curse myself for being this vulnerable in front of Dillon. I don't want his pity. I no longer want anything from him. I just want it all to be over. I want the pain and confusion to stop. I want it all to go away. My heart is pounding against my chest and my stomach is still protesting the stress, possibly even my pregnancy. I feel tears prick my eyes and bite my bottom lip to keep them at bay. Dillon seems to freeze for a second before he kneels down in front of me, his hands resting on top of my feet. I kick him again, this time in the chest. The air leaves him on an inhale, knocking him onto his back. "Don't fucking touch me! I don't want to break! I don't need you to fix me. I just need to find a way to make this all go away… That's it. I just have to make it go away. Oh God, I don't want to break down in front of you. Please,"

"Lulu," I can hear his voice, but whatever he's saying isn't processing in my mind. He reaches out to touch me, but I step back. I know that I'll lose control if he touches me, if he tries to comfort me. I can feel the tears flooding my cheeks as a sob breaks free. I curse myself for being so weak, for giving into the temptation of crying. Dillon wraps his arms around my waist, coming up from behind me. I struggle to pull free, twisting and turning in his grasp. I scream, hoping that someone will hear me and think that a psychopath is attacking me. And, in a way, one is. The psycho isn't Dillon. It's me. "Would you just calm down for one God damn minute?"

"Let go of me!" My chest is burning and all of a sudden, I find myself worried about whether we're hurting the baby or not. I stop fighting against him, falling forward in a limp heap of tears and sobs. He readjusts his grip on me, wrapping one arm across my chest while tightening the one around my waist. I gasp for breath, whimpering as the tears continue to flow down my face. He somehow manages to hold me up as he lowers us to the ground. I find myself on my knees, burying my face in my hands. I can't seem to raise my voice above a broken whisper. "Please, just go. Get up and walk away, Dillon. Please,"

"Now why would I do such a wise thing?" Dillon wonders as he pulls me back to my feet once again. He lowers me a second later onto the bench, his original destination I'm assuming. I try to wipe away my tears but more keep falling. Dillon laughs, lifting the hem of his shirt to my face. I smile gratefully, suddenly embarrassed by my outburst. I open my mouth to apologize but he waves his hand to dismiss the notion. His hands fall into my lap, his fingers grazing my stomach. His eyes lock with mine as he moves his palms to press them against where our baby is growing. He takes one of my hands in one of his, pressing it to my stomach as well. Everything is quiet around us. It's like the world has fallen away. I look up, the spell broken, at the sound of someone arriving. I close my eyes and wish the blonde girl away. Dillon was just accepting the baby as his and I really didn't want her to ruin it. My baby deserves at least one moment with its father that I can tell him or her about. Dillon notices her standing there, his hands falling away as he stands up. I suddenly feel like crying all over again.

"I thought you were telling her that we're back together," Georgie whispers, obviously hurt. I push past Dillon, intent on leaving as quickly and quietly as possible. His fingers wrap around my wrist, shocking me and pulling me back to his side. I stumble into his back, holding onto his shoulder to right myself. He dips his head in shame while I plan a way to escape his grip. "Say something!"

"We're having a baby," Dillon murmurs softly. Georgie sputters; obviously his announcement is the last thing she had ever expected to hear. I know the feeling. Dillon turns to me, a goofy smile on his face. I can only eye him curiously, a little frightened by his sudden change in demeanor. I shrug it off. It's not like I haven't given into every emotion known to man in the last half an hour. His arms wrap around my waist as he lifts me off the ground, spinning me around. My feet lift off the ground as I place my arms around his neck. I laugh, completely caught off guard by his burst of excitement. "I should probably be panicking or angry… I just--… We're having a baby,"

"No. You don't get to do this to me, Dillon. You don't get to make me feel like dirt and then decide that you want this," I push him away and grab my purse off the bench. Georgie is taken aback by my outburst, as is Dillon. He reaches out for me but I push his hands away. He's obviously confused and trying to figure out why I'm angry about his joy over the baby. I'm not entirely sure so why should he be? I know that he had made me feel like something he had stepped in; trash that was thrown away at the side of the road, but everything else is a blur in my mind. "You know what, Georgie? I thought that I wanted Dillon, that I wanted this kind of life, but I've realized that I don't. I make mistakes. I screw up. That doesn't mean that either of you can rip me apart from the inside out. You two deserve each other,"

"Lulu, please," Dillon tries to reach for me, but Georgie pulls him back this time before I even have a chance to step away. My eyes burn as I see tears fill Dillon's eyes. I start to back up slowly, planning to run like hell. My back collides with someone's chest and I recognize the low laugh as Sonny's. I look up, sighing with relief. Dillon seems to be relieved too by Sonny's presence. "Thank God that you're here. Please, help me get her to listen,"

"Come on," Sonny motions for Dillon to follow him as he leads me to his car that is waiting at the top of the stairs. He orders the driver to take us anywhere that we want to go while he escorts Georgie home. I open my mouth to protest, but Dillon silences me by thanking Sonny. The door closes, trapping me in close quarters with the one person that I want to escape. I move as far away as I can, that being towards the front of the limo. I knock against the black divider to get the driver's attention.

"Take me to the Quartermaine mansion and detain him briefly after I get out," I informed him coldly, my eyes locking with Dillon's. I wrap my arms around my stomach protectively. I turn my gaze to the tainted windows that make the scenery look even blacker than the night already did. That's how I feel; tainted by something that was making my heart darker and darker in everyone else's eyes. Dillon moves to my side, taking my hand in his to keep me where I am. I glare at him, contemplating kicking him again. He kisses the back of my hand, my knuckles, my palm, and finally the inside of my wrist. "Don't,"

"Why not?" He challenges. My eyes flutter closed and my pulse speeds up. Dillon obviously knows what he's doing to me. I'm an open book. I wasn't the one who walked away or slung around angry words until tonight. I realized that I had no idea what Dillon was thinking. He was happy with me, for the most part, while broken up with Georgie. Then again, he was quick to take her back as well. I open my eyes and cup his cheek with my free hand. He leans forward to kiss me but I move to the side. He sighs, eyeing me with sad curiosity. It unnerves me and I have to look away.

"You're back with Georgie and I won't screw that up again. I paid enough the last time and, as much as I'll love my baby, I'll be paying for the rest of my life. I can't be the other woman and I won't help you cheat on your wife. I'm eighteen and having a baby out of wedlock with my married stepbrother. Do you know the gossip this baby is going to have to grow up listening to just because of that? Not to mention its Grandfather is never around, and its Grandmother is catatonic," I bow my head and inhale a deep breath. Dillon drops my hand into my lap. I force myself to look at him. I at least owe him that much for being so hot and cold. "I just want this baby to grow up better than I did. If I have to give it away for that to happen then I will. If I have to cut everyone else out of my life then I'll do that. I won't let him or her feel unloved and like burden for just breathing,"

"You're not unloved and you are not a burden to anyone," Dillon assures me. I laugh off my nerves, forcing a smile. I almost believe him, but I know better. The memory of how he's been treating me recently haunts me, never letting me forget long enough to believe. He takes my hand again, but I manage to pull it away this time. "Lulu, please, you have to believe that there are people who love and want you around,"

"Who, Dillon? My brother's take care of me because they know my mom would want that. My dad can't be bothered to even be here for my graduation or eighteenth birthday. Liz is around out of duty to her husband. Grandma Lesley shipped out the first chance she got and the Quartermaine family is waiting for their chance to do the same damn thing. So who wants me, Dillon, huh? Who loves me so damn much that I should believe in it?" Tears are falling down my cheeks again and my voice breaks halfway through what I had to say. I sniffle, wiping away the moisture on my cheeks. I had never admitted how I felt towards my brothers, Liz, and grandmother to anyone before. Dillon sighed, taking my hand in one hand while wrapping his other arm around my shoulders. "Diego used me so that I would break up you and Georgie so that he could have her to himself. Carly sticks around, as best she can, out of fear of what I'll do to myself. I'm destined to self-destruct, Dillon. Just like her. She's unloved and unwanted too. Look at the mess she made out of her life. That's me in a few years. I don't want that to be my baby too,"

"First of all, your brothers, Elizabeth, Carly, and Lesley love you. So does your dad. Second, who cares what my family thinks? As for Diego… He's bad news, Lulu. I told you that," Dillon brushes a strand of hair out of my eyes, smiling at me even though the sadness is evident. I want to scream as I pull away, moving to the other side of the limo. "Come on. Don't do that,"

"Don't do what? Be hurt? Be scared? I didn't hear you assure me that I won't end up like Carly. She lost herself and I will too," I force the tears back as I run my hands through my long, blonde hair. Dillon seems to be at a loss of words. I have to resist the urge to play it off as hormones. "I just want it to stop,"

"Then let me in," Dillon demands, sliding onto the seat next to me. I blow out an exasperated breath, cursing Sonny's name for placing us in such close quarters. I have no way of fully escaping him while we're trapped in this car. Everywhere I move, he follows. I place a hand on my stomach, squeezing my eyes shut and praying this is all just a vivid nightmare. I open my eyes, meeting his. I feel myself nodding before the realization of what I had just agreed to set in. I let myself fall into his arms, tears streaking my cheeks as I nod again. I know now to listen to my father just a little more carefully. I take Dillon's hand and place it on my stomach as I smile through my tears. And tonight I knew that there was something in the air again. Something more, something tangible. Something that changed my life for the better


End file.
